Funny thread.

[Shadow Stalker]

A few jokes to tell ....

The wife's mother rushed into the maternity wing to find out how her daughter was progressing. As she entered the waiting room, she spotted her son-in-law. Unbeknownst to her, he was listening to the cricket on his iPod.

"How's it going?" she asked anxiously.

"Not bad," he smiled, "they've got four out and there's only one to go."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" she screamed, and fainted.

---

Johnnie asked for time off because his wife was going to have a baby. The following day, his boss asked him what it was - a boy or a girl.

"Too early to say," said Johnnie, "it'll be another nine months before we know the answer to that."

---

(Hope I don't get in trouble with the admins for this...)

Spoiler:

show spoiler

"Mummy, mummy, I've discovered how babies a made. I saw daddy put his willy in your mouth last night."

"No, that's not right," replied mummy, "that's how I get my expensive jewellery."

---

A young girl went into confession and told the priest she had slept with four different men over the past week. Jack on Tuesday, Bill on Wednesday, Peter on Thursday and Chuck on Friday.

"Well my child" said the priest "on your way home tonight buy two lemons and suck on them."

"Will that cleanse me of my sins?" she asked.

"No, but it'll take the bloody damned smile off your face."

[aris13]

Toddlers & Tiaras with Tom Hanks

[Trent]

Zenga, zenga!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBY-0n4esNY

[Pikminister]

Scooter Braun is the one we should mock, afterall he was the man who enabled Bieber to get to where he is now.

We're not mocking Bieber because he got famous. No, that's not it.

Its just that the whole idea of this guy is fucking hilarious. I bet Bieber himself will laugh his ass off in a few years down the road.

I mean just look at what is making the news:

Justin Bieber Plans To Grow Facial Hair

Its comedy gold!

[Carnivol]

Ever wondered how the warm-up routine to the RPD Dispatch podcast was?
YouTube video:

Show YouTube video

[Mr. Spencer]

Getting pissed was the only way to get through the podcasts.

[Alexia_Ashford]

Apparently all the gays hate Justin Bieber now after he publicly stated homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice".

[Trent]

Apparently all the gays hate Justin Bieber now after he publicly stated homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice".

Now everyone hates him.

[Darkmoon]

Tween girls still love him. He's pretty while being sexually non-threatening. Because let's face it, you can't imagine him getting upset over his burger order being wrong, let alone trying to force a girl to sleep with him.

Or sleeping with a girl.

[Vogue_Dirge]

Apparently all the gays hate Justin Bieber now after he publicly stated homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice".

He also said women shouldn't get abortions after being raped. Then proceeded to say "Everything happens for a reason."

[Mr. Spencer]

He also said women shouldn't get abortions after being raped. Then proceeded to say "Everything happens for a reason."

In part I blame the interviewer, for asking him a question on a subject he couldn't possibly understand.

He's far too young to have a mature and rational opinion on abortion.

[Shadow Stalker]

Apparently all the gays hate Justin Bieber now after he publicly stated homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice".

As a supporter of LGBT rights myself, I find Bieber's statements regarding homosexuality to be extremely offensive.

There has been a lot of scientific evidence stating time and time again that prooves that homosexuality is natural, and that it states that gay people are actually born gay, hence why it's natural. Plus A lot of studies have shown that homosexual behavior also occurs in animals as well.

[Trent]

I agree with Mr. Spencer, that and the homosexuality subject should not be brought up for the kid.

[Alexia_Ashford]

As a supporter of LGBT rights myself, I find Bieber's statements regarding homosexuality to be extremely offensive.

There has been a lot of scientific evidence stating time and time again that prooves that homosexuality is natural, and that it states that gay people are actually born gay, hence why it's natural. Plus A lot of studies have shown that homosexual behavior also occurs in animals as well.

I know that, you don't have to tell everyone. That's why people think it's absurd. I know a lot of gay people, including my dad, and I don't find it offensive. That's because I know he's a dumbass kid who's too thick to know any better, has the intelligence of an amoeba with learning difficulties and when he is forced to process a higher train of thought that requires something other than jumping around on stage, it causes his brain to implode. Same as I wouldn't find it offensive if I asked a 5 year old child about the nature of homosexuality. Bieber isn't much older.

[Shadow Stalker]

I know that, you don't have to tell everyone. That's why people think it's absurd. I know a lot of gay people, including my dad, and I don't find it offensive. That's because I know he's a dumbass kid who's too thick to know any better, has the intelligence of an amoeba with learning difficulties and when he is forced to process a higher train of thought that requires something other than jumping around on stage, it causes his brain to implode. Same as I wouldn't find it offensive if I asked a 5 year old child about the nature of homosexuality. Bieber isn't much older.

That's not a bad way of putting it. Excuse the minor rant I posted earlier, I was just speaking my mind.