I'm Angry

[Smiley]

That's not good. Good luck with the doctor.

[Darkmoon]

So, a few days ago I broke my my big toe on my right foot. This is awkward for me because, due to my shitty left knee, I have to put a lot of my weight on my right foot whenever I walk or stand. It also throws my back (freshly diagnosed with mechanical damage last year) out of whack, causing that to hurt and seize, which in turn fucks up even more of my right leg because the swelling in my back essentially shuts down my right leg if it's bad enough. Apparently, I've lost all reflexes in that leg forever thanks to this.

But I'm a big boy. I use over the counter pain killers rather than prescription strength (because otherwise I'd have been taking painkillers everyday for 12 years and would be needing a kidney/liver transplant in the next few years), and even those I use rarely, but they're strong enough that I can't take them for more than three days without seeing a doctor and I had to stop using them yesterday. They're codeine based, which is addictive, but my toe has recovered to a point where it just really, really hurts to move without actually stopping me moving. I just keep my weight on the ball of my foot, which is awkward, but it works.

So of course I get a muscle cramp in the night - in the back of my right leg. Which, for those of you who've had those, means that my foot is being pulled in such a way that it's trying to put all the weight on the front - on the broken toe. Which means I'm back to hobbling and staring longingly at pain killers. I might actually have to go see a doctor now, which I really wanted to avoid because it's awkward getting there but with both legs and my lower back in pain, I need pain killers and paracetemol doesn't cut it. Unless you grind it up and snort it.

Some days, I really feel like my body just hates me. Most annoying is it's made it impossible to continue physio and exercise. So I'm stuck for now.

[Wrathborne]

After ye rest go watch something funny on Youtube for about 30 minutes. That does actually work with me, but it has to be something that makes you actually laugh, So no Ray William Johnson,Shane Dawson, or Fred.

[Inferno04]

Work all around seems like bullshit lately. I understand people are only human, but get your management and shit together; telling you two dates was their fault. Sounds like a bunch of egotistical pricks Spence, who fucked up and are trying to shove it onto you. Don't feel down or worthless, since even you realize, this is them clearly being unprofessional. Do not feel worthless at all. Your last two oppertunities were the fault of well, reverse sexism and unprofessional blowhards that would suck to work for anyway. You don't need 'em. =) Just rest awhile.

[Wrathborne]

Fuck em. Sleep for a bit and try to stay cool.

S'what I do. Doesn't always work, but it does help a bit.

[Mr. Spencer]

(This is referring to the place that offered me a job)

Seeing as I don't have that job I really need at this point, I might as well share my thoughts on my recent treatment. How dare you place all the blame on me. You said you would send me a letter with all the information, you never did. I left a message out of courtesy to inform you of what I was doing, which somehow didn't reach you. I get a phone call telling me there's two dates for the induction, one for last Friday and one for next Friday. Then when I turn up to confirm about this Friday, you tell me there was only one induction date. So why tell me there's two? You tell me you were trying to call me, I didn't get ANY phone calls from you.

So how dare you sit there and tell me I'm in the wrong and accuse me of deliberately putting the phone down when in fact I came in THAT SAME DAY to leave a message. I'd have thought that one message would be enough, but no, and don't you dare talk to me like I'm nothing and then have me shuffled out the rear entrance of the building. I don't consider myself an emotional person but right now I feel emotionally drained, frustrated and panicked. I don't know what I'm going to do. A lot of you reading this might think 'Oh, it's just a job' but it's not 'just a job', it's something I desperately need. For everyone who bothered to read this, I'm sorry.

And actually, just remembered this. When I got the phone call, I was asked about my depression since I had listed that as something I suffer from on my medical forms. Over the phone, she was really understanding, telling me they'll help me out and be there to support me if I need it. Then when I go in today, the same person turns round and uses it AGAINST me, saying I would be high maintenance and that it's not their concern. That's what bothered me too. Just feel incredibly worthless right now. In fact, the whole process was unprofessional. Was told I would be called back on a certain day, didn't get the call back until almost a full week later. My phone runs out of credit halfway through the call and I'm accused of deliberately putting the phone down. I couldn't believe it when they said that to me about my depression. All nice and supportive over the phone, then turn round and use it against me at this meeting. I kept it civil though, didn't cause a fuss but christ, I don't know how I managed to make it home without breaking down. I came so close to just breaking down in the middle of the street.

I had two different people telling me two different things, so that confused me. A letter I was told they were sending with all the information on it, which never came. I check the post every day. My phone ran out of credit midway through the call, so I decided to go in the same day to leave a message, which...never got relayed to either of them, even though I gave their names, my full name and my contact number. So they accused me of not being committed. I even said that I've been feeling rather down as of late, which you know is related to what I listed on my medical forms - 'depression'. Something they used against me more or less, saying the exact opposite of what was said to me over the phone.

I was sick that day, yet I still came in later that same day when I was feeling well enough. I wasn't well for the next few days, but nope, I'm not coming across as committed to them. The person I gave the message to NEVER passed it along to either of them. So, over the phone I was told by one manager, 'We got two times to do an induction, either tomorrow or next Friday'. So I called up when I was unwell, said 'Would it be okay to rebook for next Friday?', I leave a message the same day since my phone disconnected me. That was never passed along, so I went in on Thursday (today) and they told me I can't be offered a job as I missed the induction, BUT YOU TOLD ME THERE WERE TWO OPPORTUNITIES FOR AN INDUCTION. And so they invited me up, sat me down and then pretty much berated me. What used to be 'Oh we'll support you, it's alright' about my depression, was turned into a reason not to hire me. 'We're going to be really busy, can't have someone who's high maintenence'.

I don't like to talk about such things but I felt like getting it out of my system.

[nemesiswontdie]

I used to be really big into wrestling. I wanted to be a wrestler when I was younger.

Me and my dad would always watch Wrestlemania for The Undertaker. My dad looked exactly like The Undertaker. I grew up watching The Undertaker wrestle. So he's actually a pretty big part in my life.

This year The Undertaker went 20-0 at Wrestlemania. I watched the match yesterday since I forgot about it last month.

After the match was over they said it was an "end of an era" and that it was The Undertakers last match.

I turned my head to the left and out loud I said "Hey dad, did you know that was Undertakers last match?"

Then I remembered....

[Inferno04]

I feel like this will solve ALL the issues.

In short, everyone move to Hawaii, Alaska, or California.

[Kaneco]

Florida is a really fucking stupid state law wise really, its kind of a contradiction against what it says at least a 3rd of the time.

Hahahahaha...I live in Florida. It's not so bad as people make it out to be (Maybe, because I live in the good part of Florida); been living here for about 10 years (I'm an immigrant). I don't really know about generalizing the South as stupid. I've seen stupid, (or rather) morons, imbeciles, ignorant people just about everywhere in (North, East, West & South of the country) and outside the country...but there's quite a big amount of them that's for sure and so everywhere else..

The laws are fucked up in the south but it comes with who gets to decide whether to apply a certain law/judgement at court to punish where punishment is due...

[Wrathborne]

Florida is a really fucking stupid state law wise really, its kind of a contradiction against what it says at least a 3rd of the time.

[Inferno04]

When it comes to guns and blacks (which is basically what the whole Zimmerman + Trayvon issue is all about), the US laws protect one more than the other. Guess which one.

The funny thing is it differs state to state most times. I'm usually okay with gun rights but damn, then the flaws just come out of the woodwork.

[Pikminister]

...so wait, one guy is allowed to run after a black kid daring to be black and have skittles to murder him and the laws says he has to be proven to have not been acting in self defence before they'll even consider arresting the guy, but when a mother fires a round into a ceiling to scare off her physically abusive husband she gets twenty years in prison? Did I really just read that right?

When it comes to guns and blacks (which is basically what the whole Zimmerman + Trayvon issue is all about), the US laws protect one more than the other. Guess which one.

[Inferno04]

...so wait, one guy is allowed to run after a black kid daring to be black and have skittles to murder him and the laws says he has to be proven to have not been acting in self defence before they'll even consider arresting the guy, but when a mother fires a round into a ceiling to scare off her physically abusive husband she gets twenty years in prison? Did I really just read that right?

Yes Darkmoon, yes you did. Zimmerman posted bail though, so it's totally okay. 8D The media got really horribly mixed up as well, people from every side trying to say the kid was or wasn't innocent, he did or did not attack the guy, it was a mess. Likewise, a man in a car can shoot a mentally disabled man in a Taco Bell parking lot because "his dog wouldn't get out of my car's way" and claim the same self defense, but this woman can't. Casey Anthony got off free for killing her child so she could whore it up some more. Here's a tip, if you ever visit or for some reason live here, NEVER go to Florida or Arizona.

[Darkmoon]

...so wait, one guy is allowed to run after a black kid daring to be black and have skittles to murder him and the laws says he has to be proven to have not been acting in self defence before they'll even consider arresting the guy, but when a mother fires a round into a ceiling to scare off her physically abusive husband she gets twenty years in prison? Did I really just read that right?

[Wrathborne]

I'm with ya, I'm seriously sick of all the bullshit going on. The corruption in congress, in courts, in states and in law enforcement.

If anyone is curious about the case mentioned about the woman being sent to Jail for 20 years, heres a link. be warned, your head may explode.

http://mhpshow.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/11/11658879-marissa-alexander-gets-20-year-sentence

This represents so much of whats wrong with the US legal system.